Sadako 3D

I heart Sadako big time so being me I was very excited to see Sadako 3D. The 3D platform just seems perfectly suited to that famous TV scene at the end of Ring. Unfortunately this part might be the only reason to recommend Sadako 3D. It uses the 3D effect for cheap thrills as things jump out at the screen at you. It’s a film that is made better by 3D, but that doesn’t mean it’s any good.

The story centers around Akane a High School Teacher whose student dies after watching a viral internet video that kills whomever watches it. The only one who has the power to stop this Sadako is Akane whom possesses some kind of psychic powers. Unfortunately Akane is exactly what Sadako is searching for as she tries to return to the living world.

The film no longer bothers with the slow burning psychological horror of it’s predecessors and remakes and goes straight for the “BOO!” type of scares that make you jump but in no way scare you. Any asshole can jump out from behind something and do that to you. This sequel (if I can even call it that) is a cheap ploy to use 3D and it’s pretty obvious that more thought went into the promotion of this film than the making of it.
The film, while a little scary in parts got more laughs than screams, due to the pretty silly plot and idiotic characters. Why are all the police officers in these Ring movies complete idiots?

I went to the Midnight showing of ‘Sadako 3D’ and the atmosphere was electric in anticipation. But scenes in the film that were played for dramatic effect caused the audience to laugh more than anything else. For example when the main character Akane’s screaming causing CGI glass to shatter and fly out of the screen in slow motion. Another was a police officer under the control of Sadako so much so that he grew Sadako like hair down over his face. Which probably got the biggest laugh since the audience didn’t realize the character was actually serious and not joking. Weird. Near the end of the film the main character Akane is suddenly some kind of Kendo expert who runs away from the Sadakos chasing her yet is able to easily take them out in the most ridiculous, laughable manner possible with sticks and poles lying around.

The most memorable aspect of lead Heroin Akane played by Satomi Ishihara is that she looked pretty and I couldn’t stop thinking what nice lips she had. That might show how bad the film was when my main concern was how kissable her lips were anytime she was onscreen. Anyway, what’s the deal with her boyfriend Takanori? Is this the same Takanori from Rasen? (the clone) Why does he live together with Akane as her boyfriend yet they treat each other more as brother and sister. Or either this is a relationship of convenience and they’re both secretly gay. It screams cheap TV drama relationship and the makers of this must think the viewing audience would be too young to understand anything beyond platonic. Yeah, platonic and living together. Give me a break.

Sadako. Why oh why did they have to mess with Sadako so much. We get 3 different versions of Sadako. The Sadako we all know and love that comes out of a screen to kill you. Then we got these weird Sadakos from the Well that look like a cross between Samara at the end of The Ring TwO and the Xenomorph from Alien. These so called Spidakos are nothing but monsters providing some gore and more cheap/hilariously embarrassing thrills. The third type of Sadako is some frickin kid with a bang hair style (the in style obviously…) that attacks with her hair. So Sadako has also become something of a hair type monster in this too. Ghostly hair attacking you was cool 10 years ago ala the Korean Horror ‘The Phone’, today it’s just cliche. Give me something new or stick with what’s already established.

So what the hell is this? Possibly a reboot since no character has any prior knowledge of Sadako and there is no mention of her actions in any of the previous films. The Well is not located in Hakone at a holiday resort Inn but instead at some abandoned building, could be a hospital, or a school but it’s never clear. It is Sadako’s well though because it has a chip missing from it. One of the characters mentions that everything in this world is artificial meaning that it’s very possible we are inside “the Loop Project”, meaning we’re getting pretty deep into the whole Ring mythos here. There is a Ring novel called ‘Loop’ in which it is discovered that the world of Sadako Yamamura, the Ring World, is an artificially created computer program. Think ‘The Matrix’. ‘Sadako 3D’ is based on ‘S’ the most recent Ring Novel by Suzuki Koji which is set in this computer generated Ring world. However, from what I’ve read it doesn’t follow the story of the novel much. So why even mention this is an artificial world? Most cinema goers with knowledge of only the movies will have no idea what the hell that line means and the line is thrown out there twice with no real explanation or follow up making it rather pointless except to remind viewers that it’s not real.

Unfortunately the movie is real though…
It seems the chance to revive this series has been crushed by Sadako 3D. It’s of the quality of a made for TV movie of the week that is embarrassing to watch. It is most likely the final nail in the Well cover for Sads and anything that was once remotely creative and ingenuitive about this franchise is now dead thanks to this film. The future now rests with the American remake sequel ‘The Ring 3D’. Lets hope that fairs better, but with the focus being on the 3D once more I somehow doubt it. Then again nothing, NOT-THING could be worse than what they attempted here.

Favorite Quote: “Everything in this world is artifical.” – some creepy woman

This entry was posted in Asian Cinema, Book to Film, Cinema, J-Horror, Ring. Bookmark the permalink.

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