You know how you sometimes wake up with a terrible hangover and say “i am never drinking again” but the next week you go ahead and do it again or how you might wake up beside some incredibly hot person and think “that wasn’t as good as I thought it would be and I never wanna even think about this again”. You might have the same feelings about ‘The unAmazing Spider-Man Poo’.
Two years ago I walked out of the cinema after watching The Amazing Spider-man saying to myself “Well I’m definitely not going to watch the sequel at the cinema, I’ll watch it on DVD”. Then 2 years later like some silly whore I actually think I might enjoy the sequel and go see it and come out of it feeling dirty and hating myself even more for not listening to the younger me.
Because it really is a f’ing mess. I don’t even know if I wanna get into why because clearly the writers alex kurtzman and bob orci as usual can’t give an ass to explain anything in this and other films they wrote. What I list here is what others have already probably said. The Romance, the under developed villainS etc.
Was it just me or was this bordering on a Batman Forever type comic book movie? Now I have a rather soft spot for ‘Batman Forever’ like I do for some ex girlfriends. But it doesn’t mean I want to relive that time again. Jamie Foxx’s Electro reminds me of Jim Carrey’s Riddler in the way that both characters start of as been obsessed with the main Hero. That guy with the silly hair that tortured Electro also seems like some wacky character you might see in ‘Batman Forever’ and the way Villains are created for necessity of future sequels instead of for the story just stinks of film makers who don’t care about the movie they make as long as it makes money.
Green Goblin, Green Goblin how green is your Gob. What a waste of a good character. I gotta say this is what got my interests peaked for this sequel. Dane Dehaan is miscast as Harry Osborn. I know you wanna go a different direction here because honestly it would not be wise to top Rami‘s casting choices. I like Dehaan a lot in ‘Chronicle’ but here not so much. It’s probably also due to the fact that a lot of his scenes were cut because he came across as too aggressive and violent for a kids movies. Anyone remember Willam Dafoe? The man oozed danger and violence in a stare. Yet here we have a Goblin that isn’t a Goblin for most of the movie while the other villain Electro is in captivity. When the Green Goblin is finally created…. well…it’s ‘Man of Steel’ all over again. Very conveniently a super suit is ready and waiting for him. All he does is put it on and he’s a bad guy. In the same way Superman conveniently has a suit presented to him and suddenly he’s a super hero. I mean for F**k sake…..
and yeah I guessed that ending with Gwen Stacy too and I guessed they’d use her voice over from the beginning too at the end of the film. My brain didn’t have to work too hard on that one SINCE THEY DID THE EXACT SAME THING WITH UNCLE BEN IN THE PREVIOUS MOVIE!
The one good point is that I like Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man a little better. He is funny but I still miss the nerdy Peter Parker.
I just wanna see something bold done here with these movies. Out of the left field. Comic book movies are going backwards, playing safe. I wanna be shocked by the end. A big WTF moment like seeing James Franco suddenly appear as the Green Goblin’s Brother from an alternate Spider-Man universe and then cut to end. Something crazy like that to shake things up would make me come back to see the next film. I don’t want an ending that features a list of future toys I can look forward to seeing.
Anyway, I’m gonna go take a shower. You better not be here when I get back Amazing Spider-Man 2.
Favorite Quote: “This movie sucks…” – Me while watching it.